Variation on the Word Sleep

It's been ages since I've posted anything...

2005-08-11T21:43:00.000-07:00

... but I think that'll change. It's hard to think what to write, and it's even harder to accept that something is good enough to post -- despite the fact that I have no audience. I have a few ideas though. Let's see if I can manage to get them into a form I feel okay about.
s.

The Power of Fiction

2005-01-31T08:54:00.000-08:00

Started re-reading The Neverending Story yesterday having just read one of Ende's other books Momo they're both incredible. The depth of meaning and the stress on the importance of fiction, imagination, and the dangers of adulthood as defined by consumerist society is really amazing. Here's a quote from The Neverending Story. Atreyu has just found out that as the inhabitants of Fantastica (the realm of fiction and imagination) dissappear into the nothing which lack of human belief has created -- they go to the human world, but they arrive not as people or characters, but as lies. Here Gmork the werewolf explains it to him:

'If humans believe believe Fantastica doesn't exist they won't get the idea of visiting your country. And as long as they don't know you creatures of Fantastica as you really are, the Manipulators do what they like with them.'
'What can they do?'
'Whatever they please. When it comes to controlling human beings there is no better instrument than lies. Because, you see, humans live by beliefs. And beliefs can be manipulated. The power to manipulate beliefs is the only thing that counts. That's why I sided with the powerful and served them -- because I wanted to share their power.'
'I want no part in it!' Atreyu cried out.
'Take it easy, you little fool,' the werewolf growled. 'When your turn comes to jump into the Nothing, you too will be a nameless servant of power, with no will of your own. Who knows what use they will make of you? Maybe you'll help them persuade people to buy things they don't need, or hate things they know nothing about, or hold beliefs that make them easy to handle, or doubt the truths that might save them. Yes, you little Fantastican, big things will be done in the human world with your help, wars started, empires founded...'
For a time Gmork peered at the boy out of half-closed eyes. Then he added: 'The human world is full of weak-minded people, who think they're as clever as can be and are convinced that it's terribly important to persuade even the children that Fantastica doesn't exist. Maybe they will be able to make good use of you.'(my stress)

Fiction and lies are opposites -- the less we engage in storytelling and experience the possibilities for growth which come with it the more susceptable we are to lies and propaganda -- control. The book is crammed full of details such as this. At base it's about the incredible power of fiction to promote human growth. This further reminded me of a moment in A La Recherche Du Temps Perdu when Proust talks about the power of fiction. He suggests that other humans are opaque to us. We can only percieve them through our senses and so we can never really know them. When reading a novel we create the characters within us and experience them and the whole range of emotions in a compressed way:

And once the novelist has brought us to this state, in which, as in all purely mental states, every emotion is multiplied ten-fold, into which his book comes to disturb us as might a dream, but a dream more lucid and more abiding than those which come to us in sleep, why then, for the space of an hour he sets free within us all the joys and sorrows in the world, a few of which only we should have to spend years of our actual life in getting to know, and the most intense of which would never be revealed to us because the slow course of their development prevents us from percieving them.

This is the importance of fiction and imagination. Ende brings us to that state while simultaneously commenting on it's importance. Bastian the fat, bow-legged child is transformed by the power of both reading and telling stories -- the one thing that humans can do which the inhabitants of Fantastica can not is invent new stories and names for things. It is our ability to create which makes us special and yet so often we squander it. That is what Momo is about, the dangers of being caught up in the adult world: the dangers of not "wasting" time, of taking success in any form too seriously, of forgetting how to listen, and of losing sight of the beautiful gift which our time is. There's a beautiful moment when one of the Men in Gray, in an effort to seduce Momo to their way of life, shows her a beautiful robotic doll which can talk to her. She refuses it because she would rather invent games with her friends:

'What!' exclaimed the man in gray, raising his eyebrows. 'You modern children are never satisfied, honestly! Lola's perfect in every detail. If there's anything wrong with her perhaps you'd care to tell me.'
Momo stared at the ground and thought hard. Then she said, very quietly, 'I don't think anyone could love it--her, I mean.'
The man in gray didn't answer for some time. He stared into space with eyes as glassy as the doll's. At last he pulled himself together. 'That's not the point,' he said coldly.

The point according to the men in gray, who manage to seduce almost everyone to their cause, is simple:

'All that matters in life,' the man in gray went on, 'is to climb the ladder of success, amount to something, own things. When a person climbs higher than the rest, amounts to more, owns more things, everything else comes automatically: friendship, love, respect, et cetera.'

How many times a day to we hear that. The end result for those who listen to the men in grey is that they work harder and harder, and become more and more successful, but what they gain in material success they sacrifice in time. They become shells of people so lost in their work that they have no time to create, no time to connect, no time to love. In both books Ende is warning us. We must read, we must create, we must imagine, we must love -- these are the only things that really matter. Sad that they were both published in the 70s and are all but forgotten (Momo is out of print and The Neverending Story has been overwritten in the cultural milieau by a movie which evidently undermines it's very point -- Ende went so far as to sue, but lost). We could use another reminder of the power and necessity of fiction.
s.

Shows for Spring

2005-01-25T13:45:00.000-08:00

The holidays are thankfully over and the frigid hand of winter is removing itself from the throat of collective Minnesota which means that bands are going to begin venturing to town again. Here's a short list if anyone is interested in going to any let me know.

February 12th Low with Pedro the Lion at First Avenue 6pm 12$
The Great Destroyer, Low's new album is in my humble opinion their second best, and while not upbeat it is a bit more rocking than previous efforts. This is their last North American show for a while as they rush off to Europe where they have more of a following.

February 17th Sage Francis at First Avenue 5pm 12$
Sage's new album is really good, and from what I've heard he puts on a great live show. We could all use a little of his style of politics I think.

February 22nd and 23rd Modest Mouse at First Avenue 22$
I can't decide if I want to go to this or not. I really enjoyed them last time, but 22$ is a lot, and last time it was a pretty short set. Of course it may be a moot point as I don't even know if tickets are still available.

March 5th Kid Dakota with Lateduster at 7th St. Entry 8pm 6$
I just recently discovered Kid Dakota through the song 10,000 Lakes which I got on a mix. It's a good song and his most recent album is pretty solid. Lateduster make solid instrumental jazzy rock.

March 8th The Futureheads at the Fine Line 8pm
The Futureheads make catchy electro-brit pop stuff. It might be a bit much to see both them and the Bloc Party as they are very similar, but how often do we get multiple good British bands coming through town.

March 10th and 11th The Holdsteady at the Triple Rock 9pm
Formerly some members of Lifter Puller, now in New York and still witty and fun. I definitely want to make it to at least one of these shows.

March 19th Hood at the 7th St. Entry 8pm 8$
This is the show that shocked me the most venuewise. Hood's album Cold House is amazing -- pretty unique but if I had to compare it with anything I would say Kid A. Their upcoming album is also good, and a chance to see such a good band in the entry is amazing.

March 29th Mono at the 400 Bar 7$
I saw Mono last year when they were supposed to open for Fly Pan Am. They put on a great show and their guitars go up to 11. They really do. I didn't think a Japanese band would be back so soon. Now if they could just bring Polysics with them.

March 30th Bloc Party at TBA
See above about the Futureheads. I suppose I'll go to whichever is more convenient and cheaper -- or maybe both. They should both be fun shows.

April 9th The Decemberists at the Fine Line
I like the Decemberists fairly well although their sort of historical posing sometimes rubs me the wrong way. I've heard they're great live though and any band with accordian is fine by me.

April 23rd M83 with Ulrich Schnauss at the Triple Rock 10pm 10$
This is really exciting M83 sound like My Bloody Valentine with more keyboards and Ulrich Schnauss makes beautiful almost classical electronica. They're both European and this is M83s first time and probably last time for a long time in the Twin Cities.

April 23rd British Sea Power possibly playing somewhere in the Twin Cities
I desperately hope this happens and that I can go to this before the M83 show. BSP are a really good band, who evidently are astoundingly good live. I have a recording of one of their shows and it blows my mind when I listen to it. Plus they have foliage and stuffed birds and things on stage.

April 28th Animal Collective at the Triple Rock 9pm 10$
Sung Tongs was one of my favorite albums from last year and these guys are really crazy and fun. Meow... Kitties. It promises to be entertaining.

April 30th of Montreal and Tilly and the Wall at the Triple Rock 6pm 8$
Yet another show where I really like both bands. Both Satanic Panic in the Attic and the Sunlandic Twins are really good albums, and judging from the albums of Montreal have a good sense of humor. Add to that the fact that Tilly and the Wall have a tap dancing percussionist and you have a recipe for a brilliant show.

May 13th Deerhoof at the Triple Rock 6pm 8$
Sometimes a bit annoying to actually listen to these guys put on a crazy, fun, show. Last time I saw them was at a music and movies in Loring park. The drummer is incredibly talented and the lead singer is cute and crazy.

Hopefully I'll be able to add to this list as the weeks pass.
s.

This is New Radio

2005-01-24T09:07:00.000-08:00

The Current.
Exciting to hear commercial free non classical music. Should be good for the local music scene as well. I particularly liked hearing these tracks in a row:

Bob Dylan - Subterranean Homesick Blues
Radiohead - Subterranean Homesick Alien
The Arcade Fire - Neighborhood #3 (Power Out)

That's some good DJing.
s.

Memories

2005-01-21T13:29:00.000-08:00

Adapted from an email to a friend:

Memories spring from the strangest stimuli. We were driving out to Steve's sans music. I was trying to think of a song to sing and randomly the song "Rocketship" by Dylan Hicks (who has retired from making music and is now a writer for the City Pages) popped into my head. I could still remember all the lyrics. I'm not sure if you remember the song, but it's quite sad -- I remember the first time I played it for you. You started crying in that quiet way you had. I wasn't expecting it.
Humming the trumpet solos I arrived at the third verse:

Put me on a DC-9
from United Airlines
and call it a day
wave there at the terminal
stand there looking beautiful
and slowly walk away

It suddenly opened this telescoping memory of all the sad airport goodbyes I've had and their beauty. Intertwined and mixed -- a mosaic of different airports, times, hugs, tears, and selves, and from them a distillation of the quintessential sad farewell made beautiful by the passage of time. Made beautiful by the fact that I felt all those things. I have those memories.

Within the space of singing a song to myself -- in a car with people who had neither heard it nor known me during all the moments flowing through my head -- I had recaptured for a moment the beauty of those goodbyes. No, I couldn't have recaptured it, because I hadn't known it at the time. I had discovered that beauty for the first time.

s.

Random Personality Quizzes

2005-01-19T14:13:00.000-08:00

It turns out that those random personality quizzes people are always forwarding around are by no means a product of the internet age. In fact here are two that Marcel Proust filled out at parties. One when he was 13 (1890)and one when he was 20 (1897 obviously).
Apparently the questions haven't changed all that much. I'm tempted to send the one he filled out around as an internet experiment. I would magine that few of the answers would be similar -- and not just because they would be full of mispellings and emoticons.

Here are some of my favorite answers from when he was 13 :

What is your idea of earthly happiness?

To live in contact with those I love, with the beauties of nature, with a quantity of books and music, and to have, within easy distance, a French theater

The quality you most admire in a woman?

Gentleness, naturalness, intelligence

I can definitely get behind both of those. I'm not so sure about this one though:

Who would you have liked to be?

Since the question does not arise, I prefer not to answer it. All the same, I should very much have liked to be Pliny the Younger.

Um. Yeah that Pliny the Younger -- now there's someone I wish I could've been. Er... he was so um... historical and stuff.

The 20 year old (1897) one is even more interesting:

Your most marked characteristic?

A craving to be loved, or, to be more precise, to be caressed and spoiled rather than to be admired

The quality you most like in a man?

Feminine charm

The quality you most like in a woman?

A man's virtues, and frankness in friendship

What is your dream of happiness?

Not, I fear, a very elevated one. I really haven't the courage to say what it is, and if I did I should probably destroy it by the mere fact of putting it into words.

What is your favorite flower?

Hers - but apart from that, all

What are your favorite names?
I only have one at a time

Sounds like someone is a romantic (not exactly shocking). Here though, we have direct evidence that Proust was a player:

What is your favorite occupation?

Loving

I think we can all agree on that. Finally evidence that people saw these questionaires in the same light in the 1890s as many of us do now:

What is your present state of mind?

Annoyance at having to think about myself in order to answer these questions

Hear hear.
I'm going to go send off one of the ones Proust filled out to see what kind of responses people give.
s.

Why

2005-01-14T08:09:00.000-08:00

I wish I could run into the person who broke into my car last night. I don't want to hurt them or anything I just kind of want to ask why?
It was 7 pm outside the triple rock. They first tried to go through the duct taped quarter window, but probably upon setting off the alarm they decided to break the passenger side window. They failed miserably at getting the stereo out, but managed to completely destroy it in the process. On the coldest night of the year they broke a passenger window and the stereo and didn't benefit in the slightest. Why?
The people at the Triple Rock were fantastic though. The person had hit several cars and the owner came out with duct tape, cardboard, and a plastic bag to rig something to get us home. I could laugh on the way back -- Julie desperately trying to hold onto the bag and cardboard which were flapping in the wind. She had to peek under them at every intersection to let me know if cars were coming. Laughter is in a sense the only option. What's done is done -- might as well enjoy yourself in the aftermath.
s.

Volume 2 "The Owls are Most Definitely Not What They Seem"

2005-01-13T13:31:00.000-08:00

Here is the belated tracklist for my second mix. If you don't have a copy yet I'll give you one. My apologies on the time it took to get out. I hope you enjoy it.

Volume 2: The Owls are Not What They Seem

1. Mirah - Cold Cold Water from Advisory Commitee
2. Unbunny - Casserole from Snow Tires
3. Ted Leo & The Pharmacists - Tell Balgeary, Balgeary is Dead from Hearts of Oak
4. Shugo Tokumaru - Paparazzi from Night Piece
5. Tilly and the Wall - Night of the Living Dead from Wild Like Children
6. Asobi Seksu - Walk on the Moon from Asobi Seksu
7. The Sound - I Can't Escape Myself
8. The Decemberists - We Both Go Down Together from Piqaresque
9. The Animal Collective - Who Could Win a Rabbit from Sung Tongs
10. The Kleptones - Save from A Night at the Hip-Hopera
11. The Mountain Goats - FM from Sweden
12. Plus-Tech Squeeze Box - F(ake) from Cartoom!
13. The Go! Team - The Power is On from Thunder Lightning Strike
14. The Soft Pink Truth - Out of Step from Both Soft and Pink
15. Casiotone For the Painfully Alone - Hey Eleanor from Twinkle Echo
16. The Scotland Yard Gospel Choir - All the Heart from I Bet You Say that to All the Girls
17. For Stars - Rain, Thunder from For Stars
18. of Montreal - Will You Come and Fetch Me from Satanic Panic in the Attic
19. The Mountain Goats - Best Ever Death Metal Band in Denton from All Hail West Texas
20. Minus Story - Solitaire Champion from
21. Califone - Bottles & Bones (Shade & Sympathy)
22. Shugo Tokumaru - Such a Color from Night Piece
23. Richard Wagner - A Very Small Part of Tristan and Isolde

Mourn in the New Year

2004-12-30T07:15:00.000-08:00

The Guardian has a collection of posts from blogs in Southeast Asia here. I tried to start reading it at work, but I can't. Not without a stiff drink and some kleenex. Unfathomable:

Seen things today I never thought I'd see. Seen things I don't ever want to see. How do you ask a question of a father who saw his four-year-old child being dragged off into the sea and be sensitive about it? Do you say sorry? Does that cut it?

Two friends dead. They were on a romantic beach holiday. I like to believe they died holding each other's hands. Two more missing. Presumed dead. Find a vehicle in about an hour and head off down south to look for them, or identify their bodies.

Haven't slept the whole night. Just talking to friends who have family missing. Have never wanted to end it all as much as I did last night. Didn't want to wake up today. Didn't want to live in a world like this. A world where I've lost more than I ever have, but yet have to be strong because my friends have lost more. I cannot even imagine their pain.

But right now I'm just glad to be alive and heading off down south to look for my friend.

And I thought heartbreak hurts. What a joke.

Goodbye Chunky Rice

2004-12-20T09:50:00.000-08:00

Last night I couldn't sleep so I re-read Goodbye Chunky Rice -- you can read the first couple pages of it here. Once again I ended up in tears -- in a sort of good way though. There's the pain of loss and movement -- the anguish of missing people whom you have left or who have left you for whatever reason, but at the same time that pain is an integral part of the beauty of the connections we make with each other. Every painful goodbye is as much about the beauty of being together as it is about a future of being apart.

There's my clicheed idea of joy and pain as inseparable. Clicheed perhaps, but it seems the only way to see life that really makes sense. C.S. Lewis (and probably a fair number of other people) have suggested that humans have a "God shaped hole" which we attempt to fill with many things, but which only God offers real relief from. I disagree -- I think that this is one of the negative ways that people use religion. I don't think we have a "God shaped hole" -- I think that the yearning we have that we can never seem to fulfill is part of what makes us human. Rather than a God shaped hole I think people tend to use a hole shaped god. More people use consumption than god these days though:
Oniochalasia (noun) - buying as a means of mental relaxation.
Now I'm just rambling off into the distance. In summation -- it seems that connecting with other people is the place where real meaning comes in life. The simultaneously tragic and beautiful reality is that inherent in every joyful connection is it's painful ending. To quote the Flaming Lips:

Love in our life is just too valuable
Oh, to feel for even a second without it
But life without death is just impossible
Oh, to realize something is ending within us
Feeling yourself disintegrate.

Life is beautiful.
s.

p.s. Incidentally Craig Thompson who wrote Goodbye Chunky Rice has a new book called Blankets. Judging from the first couple of pages it looks fantastic -- I'll have to pick it up as soon as I have some money.

Speaking of Geography

2004-12-07T13:06:00.000-08:00

I ran across the Geography Olympics site yesterday. It gives you a randomized quiz of 10 world countries and keeps track of which countries and states are doing the best overall. Neither Minnesota nor the United States is doing particularly well, but when you finish the test it can tell you how you affected the score. You can play it three times a day, so today getting three 9/10s I increased Minnesotas score by a total of .0489%. If I can just figure out where Nauru is on their map I'll be set. Incidentally voting is compulsory in Nauru. Have a crack at the geography olympics and drive up the scores.
s.

What I Learned Today

2004-12-06T14:18:00.000-08:00

On a whim today I followed a link from coudal.com's Museum of Online Museums which led to Timbres Chinois which tested my French capabilities, but which I managed to wade through. Now a guide to Chinese stamps might not sound like a particularly interesting web site, but it led me to a very interesting thing.

In the stamp commemorating the Sino-Soviet treaty of 1949 the country of Tuva can be seen in the map right behind Mao's head. The thing was Tuva was annexed by the Soviet Union in 1944 and the stamp was released in 1950:

Pendant longtemps, Touva fit partie de l'empire chinois. Un ouvrage chinois publié en 1727, indique que la frontière entre la Chine et la Russie se situe au niveau des monts Seyan (au nord de Touva). En juin 1914, la Russie occupe Touva. En 1921, Touva devint un État indépendant sous protection de la Russie mais en 1944, Touva est annexée par l'URSS et n'est plus qu'une région autonome. En 1961, elle est devenue République autonome et, enfin, en 1990, Touva a retrouvé sa souveraineté nationale.

Which loosely translated says that for a long time Tuva had been part of the Chinese empire. A work published in China in 1727 indicated that the frontier between China and Russia was the Seyan mountains (North of Tuva). June of 1914, Russia Occupied Tuva. 1921, Tuvas became an independant state under the protection of Russia, but in 1944 the USSR annexed Tuva. In 1961 it became an autonomous republic and in 1990 Tuva regained it's sovreignty.

Very interesting, but Tuva only has it's sovreignty in the same way Chechnya and much of the rest of Russia has it. They are part of the Russian Federation or whatever. A country which existed from 1921 to 1944 and I hadn't even imagined. A bit of further research yielded Tuva by Stamps which is the only website I've ever seen with the option to read it in Esperanto. I opted for English myself. It turns out Tuva made some pretty cool stamps during the years that they were a country. It also turns out that it has a population of 306,000 and the typical Tuvan is a Buddhist Turk.

Throat Singing is popular there, and I ran across this diary entry. You learn something new everyday. I wonder if I'll ever get to visit?
s.

Old Journals

2004-11-22T23:06:00.000-08:00

It's late at night and I'm reading through old documents -- some ranging back to 7 years ago. Some more recent. It's strange reading through them. They fall into either academic or personal, and both have a sense of loss to them. It's the personal ones that are the strangest -- struggling now to remember the moments when I felt these thing. There was one which struck me in particular :

There's a loneliness to walking through the mist, its beautiful but you feel like the only person in the world. Rare cars turning the air white with their headlights break the silence every once in a while. I expected the mist to be thickest near the lake, but as I approached it thinned. Its funny how the times I fear will be the hardest like the last few weeks after our conversation... But they've turned out to be some of the most intimate times we've had, the mist has cleared in some ways.

I sit on the bridge over the little pond, everything is still and clear the trees, streetlights, and clouds reflected in the still water. I'm still, untroubled by anything, thinking of life, you. Walking home I smell the beach by my grandparents where the morning glories creep along the piles of driftwood and the beach retreats every year. My mom once showed me where it used to be when she was young, now 20 foot trees stand a safe distance from the water. I want to go with you, there and everywhere else.

Upon reading this I remembered the moment, and yet looking back at it from the now... from the future which I worried about then -- I don't understand what I was thinking. I was in love. That much I remember, but I don't remember "the conversation" which was evidently quite important. I also don't remember the "mist clearing" -- I apologize for the pain which that cliche may cause. I don't remember sounding as pathetic.
In fact judging from much the stuff I wrote while I was in love, fear was omnipresent. I don't remember it now. I don't remember the feeling of worthlessness that seems omnipresent. I am not worthy of you seems to be the most common sentiment when I wrote about her. I'm glad that I can't relate to that feeling anymore. Now I just remember the joy and excitement -- the pain as well, but that has it's own strange joy to it.

s.

Art=God?

2004-11-19T14:24:00.000-08:00

There is a feeling you get when you hear certain songs, see certain films, read certain books. A spiritual feeling-- sheer beauty which threatens to overwhelm you. It feels like the lump in your throat before you cry -- except deeper and more subtle.
This feeling is at the root of a lot of religious experience, and it's easy to understand why. There was a long period of time when almost all art was religious hymns, paintings, calligraphy, etc. Combine that with the fact that aesthetic overload like that feels like being touched by god, and it is little wonder that for much of my childhood art was what I thought of when I thought of god -- that sense of beauty which takes you out of yourself.
Last night I couldn't sleep and was laying in bed listening to a live version of Lover's Spit by Broken Social Scene and it struck me -- its beauty, and the beauty of the whole world. For a moment I wanted to wake everyone I knew and force them to listen to it. To show them that beauty is alive and well.

Is it possible to proselytize for art?

s.

November - Volume 1

2004-11-15T20:49:00.000-08:00

One mix a month. Distributed to whomever wants a copy. Here's November's annotated tracklist. Email me if you would like a copy.

November - Volume 1
1. Ted Leo and the Pharmacists - Me and the Mia from Shake the Sheets
Um. Not really much to annotate here. This is why it's on this mix.

2. Stars - Your Ex-Lover is Dead from Set Yourself on Fire
"You were what I wanted/I gave what I gave/ I'm not sorry I met you/ I'm not sorry it's over/ I'm not sorry there's nothing to say/ I'm not sorry there's nothing to say." I love it when songs articulate things you've felt, but never managed to express.

3. Metric - IOU from Old World Underground Where are you Now?
I discovered both Stars and Metric through Broken Social Scene. When they played at the 400 Bar partway through the show during an ocean of feedback a woman walked on stage, grabbed a microphone and began screaming into it. The noise -- feedback and screaming -- then subtly morphed into a song. It was Emily Haines lead singer of Metric and a startlingly attractive woman.

4. Modest Mouse - Sleepwalking (Couples Only Dance Prom Night) from the Interstate 8 EP
This is one of my favorite Modest Mouse songs -- a cover of an instrumental song from the 60's with lyrics added. "The white trash boys/ listen to their headphones/ blasting white noise/ in the convenience store parking lot."

5. Pulp - Dishes from This is Hardcore
Jarvis Cocker's initial's are the same as Jesus' (if you count Christ as a last name). He was 33 when This is Hardcore came out, an album about aging, sex, and morality. He writes songs with a moral like a Woody Allen movie -- "You don't want to be as depraved and empty as me." From the same album in fact: "You look like me, but please don't turn out like me. You look like me, but you're not like me at all. I look like a big man, but I only have a little soul." He needs a hug, or less heroin.

6. Neko Case - Twist the Knife from Some Bootleg
I love the beauty and sadness of her voice. "Carefully, quietly, you took what's young from me/ Didn't deserve it, I gave it away/ Cowardly, thoughtlessly you walk away from me, and I'll tear my heart out to save you the pain." Liz fainted at a Neko Case concert once. Neko asked after her health.

7. Built Like Alaska - Burnin' Mine from Hopalong
Built Like Alaska deserve to be much more popular than they are. There's a calm beauty to their music -- it perfectly fits the landscapes they describe. They have a new record deal and a new album coming out soon.

8. Stars - Heart from Heart
I put one song from each of Stars' albums on this mix. This is from their second album which is probably my favorite. The female singer (also connected with Broken Social Scene) has a voice that makes me want to melt.

9. Aesop Rock - No Regrets from Labor Days
I love this album. I love this song. "You can dream a little dream or you can live a little dream. I'd rather live it, cause dreamers always chase but never get it." It's such a strange and engaging song.

10. Talking Heads - Psycho Killer (Live) from The Name of this Band is the Talking Heads
Someone explain this song to me. I love it -- especially this version, but what the hell does it mean?

11. The Unseen Power of the Picket Fence - Pavement from Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain (LA's Desert Origins)
"Some bands like to name-check, one of them is R.E.M." A deliciously odd song. The lyrics include listing the songs off of Reackoning which is my favorite R.E.M. album. Then somehow it shifts to the civil war. I think Pavement must have been smoking a lot of grass when they imagined the confrontation between General Sherman and R.E.M.

12. Prince Paul ft Big Daddy Kane - Macula's Theory from A Prince Among Thieves
This song is so wrong that it's right. I don't even know where to start -- the opening joke? Sometimes you have to turn off your ability to be offended and just enjoy. "While y'all are making love/ I'm making love into a buisness."

13. The Flaming Lips - Brainville from Clouds Taste Metallic
Given how amazing the Soft Bulletin and Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots are, I think a lot of people overlook Clouds Taste Metallic. It's a tragedy that we don't have a Brainville -- we could send our president to have his "space enlarged".

14. Pulp - Bar Italia from Different Class
This is the ultimate hangover song. It says something sort of disturbing about me that it is the Pulp song that I most often put on mixes for friends. This captures breakfast the morning after -- preferably at the Triple Rock. The way Jarvis Cocker delivers the end of the line: "Oh look at you, you, you're looking so confuse/ oh what did you lose... It's okay it's just your mind." Of course the kicker is the very end "If we get through this alive, I'll meet you next week, same place, same time."

15. Stars - This Charming Man from Nightsongs
A cover of a Smiths song. I confess that while most people seem to adore the Smiths and Morrissey I can't stand either. Which is particularly odd considering the other music I like. This song is good though and this electro-pop version seems particularly appropriate.

16. Softies - Holiday in Rhode Island from Holiday in Rhode Island
My first (and I guess only) real love was from Rhode Island. I went to visit and when I ran across this song I couldn't help but love it for the happy and sad memories.

17. Grandaddy - Why Took Your Advice from Under the Western Freeway
I like Grandaddy. This is from their first album which is endearingly unpolished. There's something sad and obscure to this song.

18. Broken Social Scene - Anthems For A Seventeen Year-Old Girl from You Forgot it in People
This is one of those songs that took hearing live to really appreciate. The weird vocal filter. The slow building repetitveness. The banjo. Emily Haines' voice.

19. The Coup - Ghetto Manifesto from Party Music
This album cover originally had Boots Riley setting off explosions in both towers of the world trade center. "Got a house arrest anklet, but it don't bling bling/ got a hommie with a cell, but that shit don't ring." Like public enemy except all about class.

20. Angelo Badalamenti - The Dance of the Dream Man from The Twin Peaks Soundtrack
You know you love this song. You love the little midget with his backwards dancing crazyness. The owls are not what they seem. Oh and your favorite gum is going to come back in style.

There it is. It's fairly random. December is going to be quite a bit more deliberate -- I've already started picking tracks. I figure throughout November when I hear something I really connect with I'll toss it on a list and then whittle that down.
s.

The Pain

2004-11-04T08:48:00.000-08:00

This election hurts more than the last. This time there are no excuses: no popular vote, no hanging chads, no Ralph Nader, no voter apathy. This time the American public stood up and made themselves heard. I believe what they said was, "We are a bunch of ignorant, terrified, fools who deserve what we will get for the next 4 years." Unfortunately the other 49% of us are going to get it as well.

What bothers me the most is the disconnection from reality. I don't think it's ever been this bad. One of the realities of a society like ours is that culturally the majority of people would rather be presented with and accept (even in the face of overwhelming evidence) a comfortable fabrication, than deal with the difficult realities which face us. This is what the neocons have hit upon. Give people a simple way of understanding the world. Tell them that it comes down to good and evil and they are good.

It doesn't matter what the truth is anymore. The public are so willing to swallow what is comforting and simple that they don't care that it is completely false. We're winning the war in Iraq. Our schools are getting better. The economy is improving. They eat it up, because they don't want to acknowledge that the world might not be perfect and safe.

In a sense it's parrallel to religious fundamentalism. Christian (not to mention Muslim and Jewish) fundamentalists point the finger at the unimportant things: homosexuality, drinking, sex, language; in a vain effort to distract themselves (and perhaps God) from the real sins of pride, hypocracy, and selfishness. I hope hell exists so that the self righteous bastards of the religious right can arrive there with cries of, "But I wasn't gay." Not that I'm bitter. It's ironic as well that the religious fundamentalists in this country are the ones who are most likely to critique Islam as fundamentalist and freedom threatening. Are they completely blind to the fact that they are the American Taliban?

Yes they are. They and 51% of the country are willfully blind to anything that challenges their world view and their comfort.

Perhaps we were guilty of the same thing. We took comfort in the fact that the American public could not possibly be so stupid and blind as to vote for Bush. We can see clearly now, and what we see is terrifying.

s.

Bellingham Bay

2004-10-29T13:40:00.000-07:00

The river cuts through the mud at low tide creating seeemingly endless islands. It's incredible how far you can walk -- fording its many forks. Maybe it just seems endless because of your age. You can't remember if you even knew the word estuary at the time. At the time it was just the inexorable draw of danger. The further you go the deeper the muddy channels get until your 8 year old feet are dragged by the current and your sister bobs behind you and your brother unable to touch the bottom. The current gets stronger as well -- if you let go you might be dragged out into the bay. Part of you wishes you could let go and drift away from them. Leave them to struggle against the current while you float. The current will dissappear once you hit the bay proper. You will float past the islands and out of the sound forgetting the others and sliding into deep ocean currents.

That's how you feel now remembering 17 years ago. You've forgotten how you actually felt then -- struggling against the current. Something drove you on, but it's long gone.
s.

The Booker Shortlist

2004-09-27T07:26:00.000-07:00

The short list for the Booker Prize has been announced. Some of my favorite books are Booker Prize winners -- The Famished Road, The Bone People, and of course Midnight's Children. I also find it pretty fascinating that they release a long list, then a short list, and then the winner. The end result of this is that people bet on which book will win. Last year the winner Life of Pi was also the favorite with even odds. I read the first half of this year's favorite Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell yesterday and it's pretty brilliant thus far -- it reminds me distinctly of If on a winter's night a traveler... which is fine by me as that was one of my favorite books.
So here are the odds for this year's Booker prize. Place your bets. I'm going to try to read as many of them as I can. Bitter Fruit is the other member of the shortlist that interests me the most -- perhaps I'll pick it up next.
s.

Music Mix '03-'04

2004-09-24T17:13:00.000-07:00

A friend asked me to make her a mix of good new music. I took it to heart and labored over a mix of the best new music of the last few years. I love making mix CDs. Here it is:

Now That's What I %#@^ing Call Music 1

1. The Hold Steady - Positive Jam
2. Ted Leo and the Pharmacists - Me and the Mia
3. The Arcade Fire - Wake Up
4. TV on the Radio - The Wrong Way
5. Califone - Michigan Girls
6. Pipas - Mental
7. Nouvelle Vague - Too Drunk to Fuck
8. Metric - Combat Baby
9. The Go! Team - Huddle Formation
10. Polysics - Hot Stuff
11. Pretty Girls Make Graves - Something Bigger, Something Brighter
12. The Arcade Fire - Neighborhood #1 (Tunnels)
13. TV on the Radio - Staring at the Sun
14. Cocorosie - Terrible Angels
15. The Good Life - (September) You're Not You
16. Softies - Sleep Away Your Troubles
17. TV on the Radio - Young Liars
18. Cocorosie - Not For Sale
19. Pretty Girls Make Graves - This is Our Emergency
20. The Arcade Fire - Neighborhood #3 (Power Out)
21. Iron & Wine - Passing Afternoons

I'm so happy, I think I'll listen to it again. The Arcade Fire have become an obsession. Funerals is definitely my favorite album of this year.
s.

Concert Season

2004-09-17T08:15:00.000-07:00

We seem to be approaching the time of the year when every single band decides to tour at the same time just so that it is impossible to see them all. Here's my rough list of the shows I would like to or will go to:

9.23 Frog Eyes and the Umbrella Sequence at the 7th Street Entry
9.24 Xiu Xiu at the Triple Rock
9.28 Rilo Kiley and Tilley and the Wall at the Quest Ascot Room
10.1 PJ Harvey at First Avenue (alas I can't go because of my birthday trip)
10.8/9 Low at the Triple Rock
10.10 Rufus Wainwright at Pantages
10.10 Metric in Thunder Bay, ON (I'll see Rufus, but this is damn tempting only a 6 hour drive)
10.11 Q and not U at the Triple Rock 5 p.m
10.11 Fly Pan Am and Mono at the Triple Rock 9 p.m.
10.16 RJD2 at the Triple Rock
10.24 The Good Life at the Triple Rock
10.29 Clinic at the Fine Line
10.30 ...and you will know us by the trail of the dead at the Triple Rock
11.6 Handsome Family at the Fine Line
11.8 Pinback at the Triple Rock
11.9 Blonde Redhead at the Fine Line
11.16 MF Doom at First Avenue
11.19 Ted Leo and the Pharmacists at U of M Duluth?

Now if I could find someone to buy me tickets to all of these I would be happy. The other thing I find striking is that the Triple Rock has become the best music venue in the Twin Cities. Since renovating they've had the perfect space, but now it seems that their booking has fallen into place as well. Go Triple Rock! That's not even mentioning their Bloody Mary.
s.

Paint this Website

2004-09-14T13:26:00.000-07:00

Valéry Grancher is a French artist whose roots lie in the early years of internet based art. For example here is her piece Void from 1996. Of late she has turned net-art on its head in a way which I find really interesting. Here is her webpaintings project. Pardon the lack of correct English in the artists statement:

But at the same time I decided to jump into the most 'prestigious', 'serious', 'outdated' and 'unpolitically correct' media on an ironical way: 'Paintings' ! Many artist came from paintings to net art by using on the screen the paintings iconology and metaphor (5), in my case I felt clearly that the only thing to do was to reverse the process:
How should be paintings during internet time ? How to use computer iconology in paintings ?
I think quite differently than some painters of my generation: I said that we should paint something which was never painted before... that is true... but painting is also a language and is not dealing with just images and subject and that's why I'm talking about iconology. I deeply think that the only way to paint a painting in our internet time should not be to paint computers objects (still life) but what computers has brought in our reality theater, to paint what computer technology has changed in our way of seeing. That's why I choosed to paint website screen, computer screen, computer codes. By doing this, I try to show that the computer iconology is changing all the time and paintings are perfect Flat Dead Things which are freezing the topics painted. The result is that the paintings produced are always reflecting dead icons: The design of the website are changing all the time, the software are changing also, and this is the same for the codes...

Awesome. Of particular note is the painting of the html code of the artists webpage. HTML code and any computer code in general is never viewed as something which should be seen. You examine the result after the computer has filtered and made sense of the code. In a sense she is capturing these moments which all computer users are familiar with and turning them into paintings -- devoid of all interactivity. That html will never become a webpage because it has ceased to be readable by a computer -- it has become a piece of art rather than a piece of code.

In a sense that is one of the functions of art in the modern world -- to make art out of things that we have never seen as art before. What could be better than webpages and the html code that lurks underneath them, and what better way to present them than as a painting. How about the irony process which we just engaged in -- looking at a webpage with a photo of a painting of a webpage on it. EXTREME Post-modern.

s.

Audioscrobbler

2004-09-13T09:20:00.000-07:00

Audioscrobbler.com lets you keep track of the tracks you play, and get music recommendations based on them. Best of all it's largely platform/player independant with plugins for a whole host of players. Alas and alack at home I tend to use Rhythmbox rather than XMMS which is the only Linux player which they have a plugin for. I can however use it at work, and have the last 10 songs I've played displayed on my blog (you can see them over to the right). I'd like to make that part go faster though. If anyone has any ideas.
Here's my profile -- my top songs will probably be heavily influenced by the fact that I share an office and am consequently not going to be playing much explicit or loud music.
s.

Inventing Traditions Part I -- the Kilt

2004-09-10T13:12:00.000-07:00

I was thinking about ideas for essays that I've had floating around in my head today and I remembered one that I planned on writing last year in time for Christmas, but never got around to. Now is the perfect time to go back to it.

Here's the basic premise:

I was reading the book The Invention of Tradition because it was edited by two of my favorite historians Eric Hobsbawm and Terence Ranger. As you might expect the book examines the inventions of traditions and how traditions develop a sense of timelessness -- (to quote Woody Allen "Tradition is the illusion of permanence"). One great example of this is the kilt/tartan traditions in Scotland. Ask the average person (especially if they are of Scottish descent) about kilts and tartans and you get the story of a timeless tradition whose origins are shrouded in the ancient history of the highlands. The truth is rather far from that.

As I don't have my copy of the book in front of me I'll have to give you another source which references the Hobsbawm and Ranger book, as to the real origins of kilts and most scottish highland "traditions. Here's a choice quote from the BBC Reith Lectures:

Along with most other symbols of Scottishness, all these are quite recent creations. The short kilt seems to have been invented by an English industrialist from Lancashire, Thomas Rawlinson, in the early 18th Century. He set out to alter the existing dress of highlanders to make it convenient for workmen.
Kilts were a product of the industrial revolution. The aim was not to preserve time-honoured customs, but the opposite - to bring the highlanders out of the heather and into the factory. The kilt didn't start life as the national dress of Scotland. The lowlanders, who made up the large majority of Scots, saw highland dress as a barbaric form of clothing, which most looked on with some contempt. Similarly, many of the clan tartans worn now were devised during the Victorian period, by enterprising tailors who correctly saw a market in them.

What strikes me most about this is that there is always a reason for a tradition to be invented. Why were the creation of the noble myth of the Scottish highlands and the accompanying traditions necessary to England in the 18th century? Quite a few reasons actually-- amongst them: nationalism, industrialism, and the monarchical goals of a pair of con men.

The question which then begs asking is "What major traditions which we today see as timeless, are really much more recent than we think, and what role do they serve?" The first thing which popped into my mind to research was Christmas and the concept of Santa Claus in particular. Where does Santa come from, how old is the Christmas that we celebrate now, and what are the ideological roots of our practices. Why do we tell our children about Santa Claus, gather with family, and give eachother gifts?

I'll continue this later. How's that for a cliffhanger.
s.

Word Perhect?

2004-09-09T14:33:00.000-07:00

Every once in a while I run across a website that reminds me that the internet and computers in general can actually be used to produce innovative intelligent art. Here with Word Perhect is proof. Interactive, intelligent, and well made. I could play with it for hours.
s.

Essay on Essays

2004-09-08T09:15:00.000-07:00

I ran across this article on writing essays, and what's wrong with the ways in which essay writing is taught. It does a very good job of summing up the sort of writing and thinking that I probably most love to do. He focuses very much on the importance of surprise and finding things that are surprising in order to write a good article. The most important tip for that is:

People trying to be cool will find themselves at a disadvantage when collecting surprises. To be surprised is to be mistaken. And the essence of cool, as any fourteen year old could tell you, is nil admirari. When you're mistaken, don't dwell on it; just act like nothing's wrong and maybe no one will notice.

One of the keys to coolness is to avoid situations where inexperience may make you look foolish. If you want to find surprises you should do the opposite. Study lots of different things, because some of the most interesting surprises are unexpected connections between different fields.

This reminded me of a conversation last night about South African history. Perhaps I'll work on writing a little essay on the subject of the perceptions of Russians in early colonial wars and then again during the fight against apartheid.
s.

Voting

2004-09-07T20:33:00.000-07:00

One quick thing: the fine people at the disgusting site Are you hot or not? Are doing their best to get out the youthful, surface obsessed, people who would post their photos on the internet to get rated type vote with a sweepstakes. Vote or not-- that's not a question unless you're voting on an electronic voting machine in which case it is... well actually whether you voted or not is not really the question -- whether your vote was counted is. So sign up and promise them you're going to vote (which you're going to do anyway) and they might give you 100,000 dollars. Refer other people and they might do the same. So here I am refering you. Sign up here, vote, and risk winning enough money to make you a republican for at least a month or two.

(Edit added 9/8/04)
So today Xtine sent me the following article from the City Pages about the insanity of Minnesota's government under Pawlenty. Evidently the City Pages was doing a similar sort of contest for people promising to vote -- offering them an entry into a drawing for a trip to Iceland. Some Bastard who is involved with these bastards accused them of violating federal law -- a spurious claim. He then got his good friend madame dumbass secretary to write a vague threatening letter to the City Pages disregarding the fact that it was completely outside of her jurisdiction. Part of me wants to write her a letter linking to the Hot or Not contest and telling her that maybe she should send them a vague threatening letter as well -- who cares if they're in her state she has exactly as much right to send them a letter as she did the City Pages.

I know intelligent conservatives who really have the best interest of society at heart. The sad thing is though that the only ones who ever hold positions of power are viscious, paranoid, soulless, religious fanatics hell bent on fattening their own pocketbooks.

s.

Valediction

2004-08-31T18:44:00.000-07:00

Last night I was reminded of the pitiful inadequacy of goodbyes. Valedictions is a better word, but neither word does anything to make them satisfying. A friend moved today. Last night I went and met her for a nightcap -- a last drink to say goodbye. There were several of us there, sitting around the table looking at photos, and talking aimlessly. Then she had to leave. I tried to get her to stay, and then immediately regretted it. I hugged her and felt her body begin to shake -- tears followed by embarassment. She walked off toward her apartment and another friend went to accompany her. Momentary dilemma -- to go or not. I didn't. I sat thinking about how awful goodbyes are.
Part of me wonders if humans are even capable of having a good valediction. I remember sitting in the airport with an ex. Wishing she didn't have to leave, but at the same time knowing that she did, and as a result wishing she would as soon as possible.
It's okay when the fact of the leaving hasn't hit you and your life goes on as usual. It's also okay when you say the goodbye and walk off. Its when the leaving hangs over you both, wringing any possible joy from your bodies, leaving you wishing you knew what to say.
There is nothing to say. Just rest in the life you two have shared. Think back on it and smile or cringe or both.

A Political Note

2004-08-31T10:57:00.000-07:00

Ok. Definitely read up on this. There's a long history of arguments that e-voting machines -- particularly those made by Diebold are insecure. The reality though is that they appear to have been DESIGNED for insecurity. Designed to allow the county level tabulations of any vote to be easily changed. This from a company whose president is a major republican donor and has said that he is "committed to helping Ohio deliver its electoral votes to the president next year."

For more info read the article at blackboxvoting or visit verifiedvoting.org for more general information on the subject.

s.

Vocabulary Building

2004-08-29T20:43:00.000-07:00

So I've been reading the book Justine by Lawrence Durrell it's a pretty incredible book which I highly recommend. One of the things that I really enjoy about it though are the words I don't know. I have a reasonably large vocabulary, and it's rare that I run across more than one word I don't know while reading a book. Justine is definitely an exception. So here's the list of words I haven't known and their definitions as best I could work out:

Phthisic - the adjective form of "a disease marked by the wasting away or atrophy of the body or a body part"

Aniline - the adjective form of "a colorless, oily, poisonous benzene derivative used in the manufacture of rubber, dyes, resins, pharmaceuticals and varnishes." This only makes sense with a lot of context from the book because the sentence he uses it is "I saw her daily for many months on end, but her sullen aniline beauty awoke no response in me."

Lambenic - must be some form of lambent which means "Having a gentle glow; luminous"

Self-abnegation - abnegation means "self denial" which leaves me wondering why exactly he went for self abnegation.

Protean - I'd heard this one before, but I still had to look it up "readily taking on varied shapes, forms, or meanings."

Surcease - "to bring or come to an end; stop." I like the ambiguity of to bring or come to an end.

Daimon - this immediately brought to mind Phillip Pullman's wonderful His Dark Materials trilogy, the actual meaning here is "an attendant spirit; a genius"

Affray - should have guessed this one from the roots, "A noisy quarrel or brawl."

Meretricious - took a couple of dictionaries, but it comes from the latin for prostitute. Too bad they didn't teach that when I took latin. Either "1. of or pertaining to prostitutes; lustful." or "2. alluring by false show; gaudily and deceitfully ornamental."

Exigent - I thought it might have something to do with exigesis, but its: "1. Requiring immediate action or remedy." or "2. Requiring much effort or expense."

Ambuscade - "An ambush" or "To attack suddenly and without warning from a concealed place." Next time I see an ambush lying in wait I'll say "Watch out! An ambuscade!" and watch people wonder what the hell I'm talking about.

Banausic - disagreeing dictionaries on this one "1. Merely mechanical; routine. 2. Of or relating to a mechanic." or "ordinary and not refined."

Well that's what I managed and I'm only 75 pages into the first book of a quartet. I'm excited. Here's a quote from the book:

"...for those of us who feel deeply and who are at all concious of the inextricable tangle of human thought there is only one response to be made -- ironic tenderness and silence."

-s

A quote from a very wise friend.

2004-08-18T09:08:00.000-07:00

I was having a discussion with an old friend over email. It was sparked by reading the entry "You Two Have Fun Day" at Girls are Pretty -- there's something disturbing about that entry because it puts you in the position of the adulterer, the betrayer. Recent occurences in my family and her friends also centered around infidelity, and we started discussing what it means. This quote really struck me as important:

"i guess this kind of free will- and the struggle to overcome temptation for the sake of another person is part of what makes us amazing- and we can fail, and forgive, and love despite it, or even because of it- but its kind of like death- I believe that we're better off with it, but can't really accept it."

Every Day is Special.

2004-08-17T12:52:00.000-07:00

Okay. Visit this website. It's fantastic. I highly recommend looking through the old posts as well. There's something incredibly engaging about it. It's narrated from the second person perspective. It ranges from funny to sad, sometimes with a fair dose of both. It also has a kind of darkness to it which combined with the second person narrative is disconcertingly attractive. You should definitely read it because today is LET A WEBSITE TELL YOU WHAT TO DO ON A CERTAIN DAY DAY.

Kiss my Ashcroft

2004-08-17T08:22:00.000-07:00

I have a lot of bumper stickers on my car, so I was very intrigued when a friend sent me this article about a song made from bumper sticker slogans in Israel. I apologize for the fact that you have register with them. "Free" registration makes absolutely no sense to me: its a major annoyance with very little benefit that I can see to the newspaper itself. But I digress.

David Grossman is one of my favorite authors. His book See Under: Love is amazing, certainly in my top couple novels. According to the article Grossman began noticing the quantity and range of bumper stickers -- especially those of a political nature in Israel:

''When I had my list of stickers, I realized it's like a capsule of Israeliness, all the brutality and aggression and the need to get out of this situation... The more the dead end of the situation grows, the more frustrated people become with their inability to influence it,'' he continued, in a telephone interview. "Few people on the left or the right are satisfied. And the more they are frustrated, the more they are extremists, the more bumper stickers they have on the car. Sometimes you stop behind a car that looks like a shouting demonstration.''

The article goes on to discuss the polarization of Israeli politics, which up until recently would have made our own polarization issues look like nothing. The reality is that there has been a shift toward polarity in U.S. politics, and it becomes visible in things like t-shirts and bumper stickers. These are not parts of a rational engaged discussion, they are the lashing out of people who feel strongly about something, and feel strongly disenfranchised. The less powerful you actually are, the louder you spout your opinion. The country is split. I know that the liberal side is right, but there is still something disturbing about the lack of engagement and respect that each side has for the other -- that's what disturbed me about Farenheit 9/11. That's what disturbs me about even my own bumper stickers (I plan on pruning them).

The other thing that sort of disturbs me is that it's a reminder of the disturbing rise in similarities between the U.S. and Israel since September 11th: the willingness to suspend essential civil liberties in the name of security, dealing with terrorism in an aggressive idiotic way which only exacerbates the problem, willingness to violate the geneva convention and treat their enemies as sub-human, and the polarization and evaporation of meaningful political discourse. In most of those characteristics Israel is drastically worse than we are, but in the lack of meaningful political discourse we have the (dis)advantage. I blame the media and our own laziness -- it's ironic that reading Haaretz gives you a far more balanced view of the Palestine/Israel situation and the war on "terror" than our newspapers do. Ironic but not surprising -- the vast majority of American lives are not yet at risk in our "war" so it is easy to be idiotically patriotic and ignore real possibilities of peace. The terrifying thing is wondering where we will be in the next 5 or 10 years -- and wondering if it really rests on the next election, or if faith in that is just wishful thinking.

Horoscopes

2004-08-13T11:30:00.000-07:00

So I got a bit curious today. I love reading my horoscope. I found myself wondering how different horoscopes for the same sign and the same day would compare. Thankfully we are blessed with the internet and it is a repository for all things that people can make easy money off of, including astrology. Here's what I came up with.

MSN Astrology

Stephen, this is a good time to have an honest conversation with someone. Perhaps you and your romantic partner need to talk about your future together. You might want to express your desires for growth in your relationship or commitment. Your partner should welcome an open dialogue. You will feel great if you can get a clearer sense of where you are going, together.

Interestingly enough theirs is personalized and asks for your gender, so I thought I'd see if it was different if I was female. It was. Totally different and much better.

Find a reason to celebrate, Stephen. Even if there is not necessarily a good reason, celebrate anyway. Celebrate life, celebrate your friends and loved ones, and celebrate the air that you breathe. There is exuberance in the air that is encouraging you to take a good look at life, and be more appreciative for all the things that you have. Give generously of yourself and your resources. What you give out will come back to you several-fold at a time when you need it the most.

Excite

There are two sides to the coin. The reaction that you get may not be the one that you seek. This could be because others are more emotional than you anticipated. Try not to become too emotional yourself, and watch how you react in surprise situations. Even though emotions may be running high, you still have duties. Don't put things off until you're feeling differently. Some things you have to do no matter what.

Star Tribune

Just because someone is in charge, doesn't make that person right. Question authority. Financial decisions have far-reaching implications. Don't fudge on budget resolutions, though you want to be impressive to dates.

Yahoo

Break out of a holding pattern. Advance your cause. You're as good as anyone else.
Business or pleasure? What a decision. If the universe has anything to say about it, you may have a chance to combine the two. What about that interesting new coworker?

I found myself wondering if my horoscope from them would be any different if I were not in the US. It was. Different and significantly more in detail.

UK Yahoo

You're attracting lots of favourable attention, so be sure to take advantage of this situation. Ask your superiors for added responsibilities, especially if these jobs have a glamorous aspect. Although you may not earn a lot of money from such endeavours, they will lead to bigger and better things. Let your first priority be getting your foot in the door. Your charm is so powerful that nobody will want to block your way.Image is everything this week, so look your best and dress for the part.

Yahoo.fr

Avoir une vie sociale un tant soit peu agitée peut avoir aussi ses aspects négatifs. Evitez d'accumuler trop de nuits sans sommeil si vous voulez pouvoir continuer à être en forme.

Which roughly says that having such an active social life has negative aspects and that I should avoid having so many sleepless nights if I want to stay in form.

Interestingly enough Libra in French is Balance.

Its somewhat dissappointing that there doesn't seem to be much of a connection between them. No underlying theme of love waiting just around the corner, crouched ready to jump out and beat me sadistically. The nice thing is I can read them all and pick the one I like the best. I think I'll stick with the one about celebrating: "Celebrate life, celebrate your friends and loved ones, and celebrate the air you breathe." Excellent advice.
s.

Hardly Working

2004-08-12T09:48:00.000-07:00

I don't know what people who worked in offices did before the internet. Even when I'm busy and extremely productive at work I maybe average about 4 hours of actual work done. On Monday when I came in I was in a horrible mood so I went straight to work, nose to the grindstone. 3 hours later I had finished all the work I could do for the day. I spent the rest of my 8 hours waiting by the phone like an abandoned prom date. In order to fight the debilitating disease that is office boredom I've come up with a list of things that should be a part of everyone's job even if they aren't:

1. Staying up to date on current news and politics.
Every day you should read at least 3 online newspapers, and a political blog or two if you feel so inclined. If you don't stay up to date; the terrorists will win. If you get really desperate you can engage in political "discussion" on message boards.

2. Reading up on music news and reviews.
Its important every day to find out the status of your favorite musician: touring, recording a new album, dead in an overdose, or has released a new album which only scored a 5.4 on Pitchfork's pretension scale (incidentally Richdork is a great parody of Pitchfork). I recommend Tiny Mix Tapes for all your music news.

3. Bettering yourself through the Arts.
There are numerous magazines (e.g. This is a Magazine) and websites (e.g. Spelling Mistakes Cost Lives) which are crammed full of art for the viewing. You can even visit a museum. I recommend Coudal's Online Museum of Online Museums both for the content and the sheer brilliance of the idea and name.

4. Learning something new every day.
My favorite method for this involves Wikipedia the ultimate, free, online encyclopedia. I especially recommend their random article function. Why choose what to learn about when you could have a computer choose for you? I learned about Harry Jenkins. As a bonus if you find that they don't have an article about something you know about you can add it. For example they shockingly have nothing about Nongqawuse so when I have the time I can write a biography of her.

Well that's it for me. Time to get back to work.

s.

Welcome!

2004-08-12T08:12:00.000-07:00

My first visitor--very exciting! Truth be told I have absolutely nothing interesting on here yet, but I have no doubt that at some point I will. Its a funny sort of writing: sans audience or purpose. I like it though: I like the idea of writing whatever happens to come into my head not knowing whether anyone will read it or not. At the moment of course almost nothing is coming into my head because I didn't really sleep last night -- at least not until the sun was coming up. I think I have to invest in something to help me sleep... maybe some herbal tea... or horse tranquilizer or something. I hate punctuation.
s.

Nation States?

2004-08-11T16:11:00.000-07:00

I recently ran across Nation States which is a fairly basic, yet interesting nation simulator. This is the nation which I've come up with: Haliconia. It strikes me though having played with it for about a week that like any simulation or game there is an inherent bias. Not that it is necessarily a concious bias, but in writing a program (or I suppose a book or a movie) reality is simplified into a set of rules. These rules are never completely accurate and often end up containing a bias.

For example in Nation States one of the measures of your country is its economy. As far as I can tell from playing every time you choose to regulate industry the economy gets worse, and every time you choose to deregulate it gets better. I would never argue that a command economy is going to be the most successful economy possible, but conversly I would also suggest that a laisse faire, completely free market based economy would not either. A careful combination of the two is the secret to success, but in Nation States a careful combination of the two leaves me with a "developing" economy and there is nothing I can do to challenge that.

To sum up: every simulation of reality whether it is in art, science, literature, film, or television, simplifies and skews reality towards the perspective of the designers. At some level there is no arguing with this simplification -- because you have to approach it from within it is very difficult to critique.
s.

Human Nature and Pinatas

2004-08-11T07:46:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I watched kids bashing a piñata at the library. The moment the piñata broke and fell to the ground there was a sudden surge of kids towards it – screaming, biting, kicking, in an effort to get at the candy.These are not suburban kids with their parents standing over them: “Share! Be polite!” These are unprotected kids, without that shell of safety: no fences, no driveways, and no parents around.
It shows as the pile slowly subsides leaving scraps of red paper and crushed candy.Three kids are crying, and there is one black eye. Walking away we see one of the kids dancing around, his shirt full of candy.“It’s mine, it’s mine.”Half-heartedly I ask him if he’s going to share, but I know the answer is no.“I’m rich I’m rich, famous rich.”That’s the goal I guess famous rich, but this kid is seeing the problem of being “famous rich”. The moment he goes near any of the other kids he’s going to lose his candy. So here he is lots of candy, but no one to eat it with, and no one to gloat over it to – the isolating effect of wealth.
Today I’m wondering if he learned his lesson. He probably danced too close to the other kids in his effort to show off his haul. It doesn’t matter how much candy you have if you can’t show it off to the others, and once the others catch wind of your greed justice, or the childhood equivalent is swift to arrive. I’m sure he lost all his candy, gained a few bruises, made a few enemies, and still didn’t learn his lesson. That’s humanity though.

Variation on the Word Sleep

2004-08-10T09:07:00.000-07:00

There's a poem I really love by Margaret Atwood called "Variation on the Word Sleep"
The ending is particularly poignant:
"I would like to be the air
that inhabits you for a moment
only. I would like to be that unnoticed
& that necessary"

The idea of being able to distill such meaning into so few words. A dream.
I like the idea of writing variations on words. Taking a prosaic, everyday, word and using it as a key into something deep and universal.

That's poetry at some level. Something I'm ridiculously horrible at. If I'm good at anything its writing complex historical essays. I wonder if there's a way I could write like that and yet capture some emotion... something deeper. An essay on the Xhosa cattle killing with a subtext of love lost. Sadness and anger.

Sounds like a good idea for a story actually -- a character locked in that academic language able to express his feelings only as a subtext of the historical essays he writes.
-s